So I decided to start this blog on a whim I guess you could say. As I sit here, armed with a glass of white wine and my laptop I feel quite nervous actually. Stupid, really. I guess this is a space, a platform for me to share what happened and all my thoughts and feelings about it, my never-ending and never-stopping thoughts. I just never thought, I never ever thought that the word rape would have a place in my life, but now, it does. Do I hate that word? Yes. Have I made peace with what happened to me? Nope, not even close. But do I see that it has a place? Yeah, I kinda do. By that I mean, yes I am angry and absolutely, positively, 1000% hell bent on getting revenge or justice in any way I can, but, alongside that I suppose it allows a lot of room for growth, doesn’t it? All this hatred that I have been carrying around in my heart for over a year now, well I guess it can be channeled to help other people who find themselves in the same position that I am in, or maybe some one else who doesn’t want to have to identify as a victim might just see them self in what I say, and I hope that it helps.
So! First blog post, ever.. And in this situation there have also been a lot of firsts. The first time I fell so deeply in love, the first time I have ever experienced partner abuse, the first time I felt my trust be so unbelievably violated within a matter of damn seconds and, the first and I truly hope, the last time, I experience rape – especially at the hands of someone I trusted.