So, I mentioned before about being impulsive. I kept my food diary today and it was pretty much what I expected, I came in around 800kcal. Didn’t feel bad, didn’t beat myself up about it, didn’t feel starved, didn’t feel disgusted.. in fact, I felt nothing really.
It’s a chore to eat, but I don’t mean that in a eating disorder way at all. It’s more like everything feels like a chore, is that the depression speaking? Eating, moving, drinking, smiling, talking…it all feels like a waste of energy, energy that I do not have at the moment.
It would be easier if I just didn’t exist, wouldn’t it.