‘C’est la vie?’ Oh, do one.

That was his whatsapp status for months after we split, when we were doing the ‘friendship’ thing, how glad am I that didn’t work out! And anyway, the moron can’t even speak a word of French, you should have seen him pathetically bumbling his way around Paris.

Anyway, I digress.

I used to read that and think he maybe struggled with us splitting, I know it messed him up for a fair while. I got the crying phone calls from him late at night, I would have to hear about really destructive behaviours that he was doing to himself, I got the calls where he threatened to top himself and then he’d go missing all night while I sat up desperately trying to get hold of him. Yes, I did it all to him as well, but lest we forget that he is guilty of it as well.. but I used to read that line, conjuring up all kinds of reasons why he would have it up, I read it much differently now, though.

‘That’s life’.

Hold on. 

That’s life? That’s life, is it? Getting away with rape you mean? Doing an unthinkable act and getting to leave it behind you without so much as a second thought, knowing you have absolutely destroyed someone’s life, that’s life, is it? Being SO pompous that you honestly think you have a right to even utter something like that. That’s life, oh fuck off. Stop even acting as if you ever cared about the carnage that you have left trailing behind you for everyone else to have to pick up.

That’s life.. I don’t have much of a life at the moment. 

So I gave myself until Sunday I believe to lose three more pounds, well, it’s Wednesday and I have lost two already, so at least I have control over one aspect of my life.

Oh, actually two! This afternoon I am meeting with the police officer in charge, to discuss things and see where to go from here. 

God, I just wish he had apologised properly for what he did to me. I never wanted this.

(9/08/17 – 8am)

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