When I inform people of the situation, they say that I am brave. When I told a senior staff member about it, before I had to leave work, she held my hand and thanked me for reporting it, she said she was in awe of how brave I am.
I’m not brave. If I am then why am I so scared about this recorded interview? I didn’t sleep last night and thought of nothing else. Yes, I know he has done wrong, so wrong, but even so. I used to fantasize about him being at work and police came to escort him out and question him, finally people would know that he’s not whiter than white, people would know that he had done wrong; but, now its going to be a reality, I feel sick.
Really, fucking sick.
I have morals and I also have a guilt complex, even when I have done nothing wrong, for example, in this situation. Perhaps thats the main difference between us.
Is dragging it through court,for two years probably, going to help me heal? Will it truly help me to move past it? I don’t know anymore, but a big part of me wants to at least try, you know? Something has got to improve.
But one thing is for certain, I am most definitely not brave.