Self destructing with a fake smile attached.

  • Breakfast was 90kcal
  • Lunch will be non existent because I’ll be with the police and my stomach is already in knots
  • Dinner I’ve premise some cabbage soup, that’ll be around 100kcal due to some other ingredients.
  • Day time snacks I’ll allow for another 100kcal.

Coming in under 300kcal for the day.

I should find that upsetting or wrong even, but I just don’t. I like knowing that my focus will be on crippling stomach/hunger pains and not playing the rape over and over. Th antidepressants don’t stop that, I wish they did. I don’t know how to get it to stop. It’s on repeat in my mind, nothing makes it go away, even concentrating on something else it is still there, perhaps not at the forefront but fuck me, it is still as damaging being in the background even. 

Anyway this picture I have attached is me this morning. I’ve lost more weight but the real big change is the trousers. They are a size 12 and used to be so tight on me, not now. When I lay down earlier there was so much room in them that I could have wriggled out even!

One thought on “Self destructing with a fake smile attached.

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