Feeling weirdly optimistic… that’s new.


I’ve gotten so used to feeling like shit, totally blue and depressed, and that is not a word that I use lightly. I’ve just realised I have forgotten to take my antidepressant this morning, tits. That’s annoying. 


I’m sitting in the staff room, wearing completely oversized scrubs, smiling away to myself. Today just seems, I don’t know, more at ease, I guess? My stomach is actually full and I don’t hate myself for it. I made delicious soup last night and another one for lunch later today, the prospect of enjoying it later on is nice. I guess it’s because I met up with the police yesterday perhaps? Suddenly the ball of nerves that has been occupying my stomach has dispersed and been replaced with, well just relief. To know that I have taken that first real, proper, face to face step is a huge deal to me, not just emails and texts. Me, someone that has been riddled with anxiety and whose life has been entirely on hold. 

So, yeah, I won’t type loads about how it went yesterday right now, as I’m starting work in a few minutes, but will update later on.

Here’s hoping today is amazing, I could do with it! 


2 thoughts on “Feeling weirdly optimistic… that’s new.

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