I have mentioned before that I believe it to be worse to be raped by someone you love(d) or at least know, than it is to have it done by a stranger. Right, before people start hating me, let me explain my reasoning.
Yes of course, either one is a horrific thing to experience and yes, completely soul destroying, upsetting and life ruining in all honesty. However, if a stranger does it then you are just free to hate them instantly aren’t you? Having been in love with that person means that you are no free to just hate them, at least not for a long time. Look at me for example, it took me an entire year. An entire year of lying and protecting that coward, I don’t know why in hindsight, well I do, I was in love but mores the pity, right.
That’s the worst thing. The destruction of trust. You don’t trust a random stranger so you don’t have to experience that part of it, but partner rape? The destruction of trust that you spent months, perhaps years slowly building up being shattered in a few seconds.
That’s the worst part of it.
In his confession he wrote “I trust you enough to write this, Catherine”.
I mean..I mean, what?!
He wants to talk of trust, shall we all collectively laugh at the silly, silly boy?
And I have realised something now as well. Call it an epiphany if you want, but trust is an incredibly fragile thing and once it is destroyed, sorry means nothing.