Close to my heart.

So, recently I’ve noticed something close to my heart getting a lot of media attention – Diabulimia. 

Diabulimia is when a type one diabetic omits or reduces their insulin to achieve weight loss. This was an activity, no, a way of life that I embraced on the sly years ago. 

Was I stupid? Yep. 

Was I naive? Yep.

 Was I selfish? Yep. 

Was I ill? More than I realised at the time.

Amazingly, instances of this mental health+ physical condition go missed by family, friends, medical teams even.  I remember my day to day when I was actively partaking in this. Palpitations would wake me up, but would not worry me enough to make me do the full 33 units of lantus; 8 units would do me. Every time you eat, you’re meant to do another injection – I wouldn’t. Soon my head would spin, my mouth would be dry and my eyesight 50% non existent. I was diagnosed with severe retinopathy a few years ago which I have amazingly freed myself of with better glycemic control, but others aren’t so lucky. A friend of one went blind at 17 years old, and another lost her life at 22. 

Typically a diabetic will die if they go two days (max) without their insulin. I did enough to survive, not to live because in hindsight I wasn’t living; in fact I was killing myself incredibly slowly. That’s what Diabulimia is.

I nearly lost my life in 2011 after ending up in DKA. My kidneys had stopped working due to the lack of insulin and ketones in my body. I was 30 minutes away from heart failure, 30 minutes away from death. 

Even that wasn’t enough to make me fix up, pretty fucked up eh.

My pregnancy is what fixed me up. I wanted to do a post regarding Diabulimia, because it’s a huge issue that impacts far too many people.

Knowledge is power. 

One thought on “Close to my heart.

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