So, feeling fat, feeling horrific and just a pathetic, weak rape victim.
I need to regain control properly, my God I mean properly! No restricting for a week but then binging and having to purge, like a pathetic fat cow. I have been conducting some research about some Pro Ana diet plans that I can work into my day to day routine.
I like the sound of the ABC modified diet. The original one boasts fasting days as well, which are not feasible for me, due to being a bloody diabetic. This one, the modified one, has no fast days but still allows for some pretty big restrictions.
Here it is:
I feel that tomorrow is a fantastic time to start, yes I am at work for 13 hours, but sitting down on a training day. A nifty little fruity breakfast and 1/2 a can of weight watchers soup for lunch; roughly 38kcals and then a nice salad for dinner…
I’m actually super excited to stop having to purge, and now have a basis to get back in control of what goes in my body, MY body.
Having been raped stays with you, you know. Daily you feel well, not in control and you CRAVE the feeling of being in control of your body once again, because I wasn’t in control was I? If I was he would have never been able to do what he did to me. I, and only I now controls what goes in my body.
I will never lose control again. Not ever.