New Year, New me… that old one.
Fireworks, drinking, latching on to some random person in some sticky floored dank club just to feel slightly better about myself for all of ten minutes – none of these things interest me anymore.
Instead tonight I will be wishing goodbye to the upmost worst year of my entire life. No promises of a better and brighter me, because you know what? I’m strong enough, and brave enough. I am so guilty of losing myself entirely during this horrendous time, I look at some of my peers and know for a fact that quite a few of them would not have made it through in one piece. Destructive tendencies and behaviours aside, my ‘eating disorder’ and PTSD, I am still in one piece, battered and bruised, but I managed it. Somehow, don’t ask me how, but I have.
So yes, new year but the same me. The strong me. The brave me. The half decent me.
The me that in no way will ever let somebody hurt me in that way EVER again. The me that will never waste a single moment on another evil person.
The me that now feels that I can finally look at myself and not have to think about what happened, but instead can think of the positive things I should have always done.
Happy New Year, readers, but don’t promise a new you. Be proud of everything that makes you, you and just never let anybody’s heinous actions rob you of that.